A Need for Spoons
by YACCBS
Summary: It's Christmas, but Tifa and Yuffie aren't feeling very joyous. So whatever can they do to improve their mood? CloTi Yuffentine. Shortlisted for the Genesis Award - Best Humor.
1. Chapter 1: Christmas Planning

A/N: Hey everyone. This is a random plot bunny that demanded feeding, and so I gave in before it started gnawing on my AC DVD. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or Joyous whatever you celebrate!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, but if you really like you could give it to me for Christmas.

* * *

**A Need for Spoons**

**Chapter 1: Christmas Planning**

The tree was decorated, with the erratic beauty only children could pull off. The lights were hung. The carols played loudly over the radio, booming their messages of love, peace, joy, and giving.

At the moment, Tifa was not feeling anything even remotely close to the Christmas spirit.

She was leaning against the bar counter, head in one hand as the fingers of her other hand repeatedly drummed against the surface in a ceaseless rhythm. A small glass of Corel wine rested near her elbow. It was one of the rare days she allowed herself to drink when the bar was still open.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Yuffie finish clearing a table and bringing the dirty dishes back to where Tifa was standing. She paid her no heed, her eyes and thoughts elsewhere, but a hand waving in front of her face forced her to glance at the ninja.

"Earth to Boobs?" Yuffie said, giving her a prod. "What's got you so emo?"

Tifa glared at the ninja, resenting the intrusion, but she couldn't help but have her eyes flicker over to the corner, where Cloud was studying his maps.

"Ahh," Yuffie commented, grinning wryly. "Thought that might be it. He still being a complete and utter moron?"

Tifa sighed. "He's not a moron. He just...well I guess I should be thankful he's actually home so much now. It's just that I thought that by now we would have been..." she trailed off, blushing slightly. Yuffie nodded thoughtfully, and took on a pensive expression. Then she leaned forward towards Tifa, her face set with seriousness.

"Teefs," Yuffie began, "You know what you need?"

"...What?" Tifa asked, rather afraid of the answer but her curiosity and desperation for help getting the better of her.

"A good spooning, that's what." Yuffie stated matter-of-factly. At Tifa's look of disbelief, she added, "I mean, a snog session would be even better for getting rid of all the tension between you two, and sex even _better_, but spooning is so much easier to do while making it appear accidental."

"Yuffie-" Tifa started, but was interrupted by the back door opening, admitting the cloaked figure of Vincent, who looked around, and, spotting the conversing women, walked over to join them.

"Hey Vincent," Tifa greeted, which was followed by a "Heya Vin-Vin!" from Yuffie, whom, Tifa couldn't help but notice, had turned slightly pink.

"Tifa, Yuffie," Vincent said, giving a slight nod to each of them. "Is Cloud here? He said he needed my input on some of his maps."

"Over there," Tifa jerked her head in the direction of Cloud's table. Nodding to them once more, Vincent headed over to Cloud's table. Tifa watched as he sat down, Cloud greeting him warmly, before turning back to Yuffie, intending to tell her never to mention her sex life again on pain of death. Yuffie's attention, however, was focused on Cloud and Vincent, a rather morose expression on her face.

Tifa cleared her throat loudly. Yuffie jumped slightly, turning back to Tifa, her face even more pink.

Tifa raised her eyebrows.

Yuffie scowled. "Don't even say it." she stated flatly.

"Say what?" Tifa asked, assuming an expression of angelic innocence. "That you can't keep your eyes of Vincent due to the fact you find him totally sexy and darkly alluring?"

"Screw you," Yuffie said, but there was little venom in her voice and she glanced once more at the ex-Turk. She sighed. "Boobs, we are _sooo_ hopeless."

Tifa mimicked the sigh. "Yeah, we really are, Pancake," she agreed, staring at Cloud.

They both sat and admired their secret crushes for a moment, then Yuffie slammed her open palm down against the countertop, startling Tifa and causing some nearby customers to glance over curiously.

"That's it," she exclaimed. "We cannot just sit here and moon over those two oblivious assholes. This calls for action! _Action_, I say!" Leaning over the countertop, with a suspicious glance around to make sure no one was close by, Yuffie hissed, "In the next two weeks, we both need to have been spooned, or we throw ourselves off a very high building onto something pointy. Agreed?"

Tifa froze for a moment, her emotions conflicted, then resolutely shook herself. Straightening so she stood at her full height, she nodded.

"Agreed. Except for the whole throwing ourselves off a building part. I don't think I'm quite that desperate."

Yuffie shrugged, then grinned widely. "Bet you 200 gil I can get a picture of Vinnie with his shirt off while I'm at it," she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Tifa cocked one eyebrow, then gave a grin of her own. "Yes, no doubt you'd frame it and keep it under your pillow." Ignoring Yuffie's glare, she continued. "Alright, 200 gil it is. Same thing for me, except with Cloud."

"You two live together, you must have seen him without his shirt on a dozen times by now!" Yuffie exclaimed.

Now it was Tifa who scowled. "You'd think that, wouldn't you. But no, I haven't, he's quite a private person when it comes to getting dressed."

"How inconsiderate of him."

Tifa laughed. "Indeed."

Yuffie giggled, then threw a sobering look back in the direction of their targets.

"Two weeks?"

Tifa nodded, following Yuffie's gaze. Staring at Cloud's blond spikes, her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Two weeks."

* * *

A/N: A bit on the short side, but it's just the setup. The rest of the chappies will be longer, pwomise. 


	2. Chapter 2: Start the Races

A/N: I have decided that chocolate makes for excellent brain food. It feeds my muse rather well.

**Chapter 2:** **Start the Races**

"VINNIE!" Yuffie hollered up the stairs of Seventh Heaven, clutching her PHS in one hand and a large chocolate reindeer – minus one antler – in the other.

"Yes?" came a voice behind her, causing her to leap and spin, landing in a ready ninja crouch, before her brain caught up with her instincts and she relaxed under Vincent's curious look.

"Reeve called," she said, staring down at the chocolate reindeer, which was now crushed as she had attempted to make a fist. Frowning, she pocketed her PHS and gave it a careful prod. "He has a mission for us up in Icicle Village." The reindeer crumbled further under her poking, but she just grabbed some fragments and stuffed them in her mouth hungrily.

"...And?" Vincent prompted.

Yuffie looked up. "'N wut?" she mumbled around her mouthful of chocolate.

Vincent's right eyebrow raised a fraction of a degree.

"Mission specifics?"

Yuffie swallowed. "Just that we are to 'investigate suspected illicit activities'", she replied, making quotation marks with her free hand.

Vincent frowned.

"...Is that all he said?"

"Yup!" Yuffie said cheerfully. "Let's get a move on, shall we, Vin-Vin?"

The frown deepened. Yuffie resisted the urge to fidget. _C'mon, Vinnie, just go with it._

"I'm going to call Reeve first, and get more details." Vincent stated.

"_Vinniieee_," Yuffie whined, "Reeve's always really busy, you prob'ly won't get a hold of him for _hours_. Besides," she said, pouting slightly, "doncha trust me to pass on a simple message?"

Vincent stared, forehead creasing ever so slightly.

"..Fine," he conceded. "Is Cid going to take us there?"

"Yep, unfortunately. Meet you down here in fifteen minutes!" Yuffie turned and sprinted up the steps to her own room, where she closed the door before leaning back against it and sliding down until she was sitting on the floor. She let loose a slow, long sigh that was laden with relief, before whistling to herself and pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.

"_Convince Vinnie of Icicle Village mission_," she read to herself. She grinned, and clicked her pen.

"Check." she stated satisfactorily, stroking out the line of writing. She thoughtfully looked over the rest of the list she had created, nodding to herself as she read, until she came to the end and gave a satisfied snort. "Genius, Yuffs, pure _genius_." She rose nimbly to her feet, and didn't stop smiling as she packed.

\/\/\/

Yuffie jumped the last few stairs, landing lightly, her knapsack strung over her shoulder. Vincent was already waiting, standing by the door, a small black duffle bag at his side.

"Ready Vinnie?" Yuffie asked him, barely containing an idiotic grin.

He just nodded.

"Move it then Broody, we got work to do!"

Without waiting for him, she strode out the front door. She didn't have time to waste after all – only twelve days remained for her to get spooned and get Vinnie shirtless.

_Suspected illicit activities_, she thought, and let out a guffaw.

"...Everything alright, Yuffie?" Vincent asked from behind her.

"Just dandy, Vinnie," she replied, not even turning around as she added, "C'mon Vin-Vin, places to go and sights to see! Let's mosey!"

* * *

Tifa clung to Cloud as they sped down the highway towards Junon, her cheek pressed against his back as she watched the scenery flicker past. She had managed to convince him that she really needed to visit Shera in Rocket Town, knowing he had a delivery in that direction. He had agreed without hesitation to take her, and they had set out early that morning. Despite their breathtaking speed, Tifa felt quite comfortable, enjoying the excuse to give Cloud what was basically a many hour-long hug. _I wonder if Yuffie would count this as __spooning?_ she wondered, but had a feeling her kleptomaniac friend would not think so. Her thoughts drifted to the plan she had come up with. It wasn't all that detailed, and what _was _specified was definitely more sneaky and deceiving than she cared for, but Yuffie had assured her it was all necessary evil. The ninja's glee while they were planning their nefarious schemes had been palpable. 

Tifa, on the other hand, felt rather uneasy and off balance about the whole situation. She had always waited for Cloud, stood by him with an infinite patience, always ready to help should he ask for it. She had waited for him, waited when he went to join SOLDIER, waited when he had eyes only for Aerith, waited while he came to terms with himself, and waited while he drowned in memories. Oh, how long she had waited.

That's not to say it was easy. Far from it. Sometimes it took all her self-control to stop from hitting him and yelling _I'm right here! I always have been! _But that was not Tifa's way; no, she would sit, and wait.

_Not anymore_, she thought with a wry grin, slightly amazed that she had even gone this far. She had just needed that push, and Yuffie had gladly kicked her in the ass, laughing all the while. Tifa's smile grew wider as she remembered her and Yuffie's conversation two nights before.

_"Yuffie, are you sure about this?" Tifa asked for the third time, feeling nervous as she studied the stick-figure diagram with lengthy explanations Yuffie had drawn up._

_"Yes, I'm sure, stop being such a little __wuss, __Teefs__," Yuffie told her, exasperated. "Trust me, it'll all be fine," she said, making some minor modification to her own planning chart._

_"Besides," Yuffie continued, scribbling down something in __Wutaian__, "__you__'ve__ got it easy."_

_Tifa stared at her, incredulous. "Easy?" she choked out. "Yuffie, this is _Cloud_ we're talking about. You know how private he is."_

_Yuffie held up her hands. "Sorry, I mean, you've got it easy compared to me." She brought her arms out, as if sizing something up. "This is the size of Cloud's personal bubble, and _this..."_ she spread her hands as far as she could reach, "is Vinnie's."_

_Tifa, after a moment of deliberation, gave a snort and nodded. __"Alright, fair enough."_

_Yuffie gave her the "I told you so" look, then handed Tifa her planning sheet._

_"So no more of that 'It's __sooo__ hard to hump Cloud' nonsense, __kay__ Boobs?"_

_Tifa snatched the plan from the younger woman. "Fine, but I'm revising this a bit. Some of us actually have morals when it comes to stealing."_

_Yuffie shrugged, giving a decidedly feisty smile. __"To each her own."_

"Tifa?"

Tifa wondered how Yuffie was doing. She had managed to ninja Cid and his _Shera_, so she should be arriving in Icicle Village shortly.

"Tifa?"

She snapped her head up, looking into the concerned blue eyes of Cloud.

"Er, sorry, what is it Cloud?"

"We're at Junon. Are you alright?" he asked, studying her.

"Fine, sorry," she replied, shaking herself and getting up off Fenrir, stretching out stiff limbs. "Just kinda got lost in my thoughts,"

He flashed her a quick smile, eyes crinkling. Her stomach instantly went all butterflied. "Yeah, it happens to me too on long trips. We better get a move on, ship's heading out soon."

"Sure, Cloud," Tifa said, and they walked towards the dock, Cloud pushing Fenrir. Tifa looked forward to the crossing, as it was a day and a half of no scheming and simple relaxation.

Then it was back to the races.

_Twelve more days._


	3. Chapter 3: Even The Best Laid Plans

**Chapter 3:**** Even The Best Laid Plans...**

Yuffie watched, maintaining an outward air of innocence while cackling madly on the inside, as Vincent gave the smallest of sighs.

"Yuffie, did you really need to steal the child's snowboard?"

She hugged the said snowboard closer to her chest. "Vinnie, I didn't _steal_ it. I'm just borrowing it. Possibly for forever."

"...Return the snowboard, Yuffie. We have work to do," Vincent said, the slightest tinge of exasperation in his voice.

"No way, Vinnie. It's for the kid's own good anyhoo. He broke his leg _again! _Besides," she mumbled darkly, "If stupid Cloud had just lent me his snowboard I wouldn't have had to...borrow...this one."

"Be that as it may, we still have a mission to complete," Vincent pointed out.

Yuffie groaned. "Vinnie, we've been interrogating random people and snooping around for three days now. Can't we have a day off to do something, I dunno, _fun?_"

Vincent stared at her.

Yuffie sighed. "Right, you dunno what that is." As his look darkened, she turned on her whiny voice. "Please? Just a couple hours, Vinnie, it won't kill you. And from the looks of things the only suspected illicit activities going on here is that old man in the short-shorts."

"...No."

Yuffie frowned. "Fine," she snapped. "I'll go snowboarding by myself." She stomped her way towards the door of the inn. "If you change your mind, there's a second snowboard in our room. Apparently his father thought he'd try snowboarding too," she yelled over her shoulder as she left the inn.

Whistling to herself, she headed north towards the ski run. _All according to plan_. She grinned.

"Yuffie," a voice called after her, making her turn. Vincent was standing in the doorway.

"Make sure you stop before you hit the bottom of the run."

"Yeah, yeah," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "I remember, big ass jump into nowhere. I'll stop before it."

Vincent just looked at her, then turned back inside.

Yuffie continued to the slope, her grin growing wider. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a battered map. Studying it for a moment, she tucked it back into her pocket, and looked up. She was just about at the run. As she reached the top her gaze followed the curve of the hill as it sloped down out of sight. She laughed.

"Big ass jump, here I come!"

She strapped on her board and gave herself a push.

\/\/\/

Yuffie flew down the end of the slope, the wind whipping her hair as she approached the final jump. She laughed, the wind stealing away the noise, as she catapulted off the jump into air.

"GERRRRRRONIMOOOOOOOOOOO!" she yelled, as she arced towards the snow-covered ground far below.

She landed with a _whump_, the snow shooting up around her, obscuring her vision as the unsettled powder was whipped around by the wind. She dug down to her buried feet, brushing away snow as she undid the clasps strapping her to her board. Wrenching both feet loose, she straightened, picking up the board, and looked around. There was one lone tree just to her left, and other than that she saw only white walls of snow dancing madly in the harsh winds. Squinting, she grinned wolfishly into the wind.

Her plan had so far unfolded without a hitch. The hardest part had been in convincing Vincent of the mission in Icicle Village, and even that hadn't been terribly difficult. She had stolen Vincent's phone while on board the _Shera_, just in case he thought to contact Reeve later on. She had gone along with the 'mission', biding her time with a patience that surprised even herself.

And now, within the next couple of hours, or a day at the most, she would be spooned and hopefully soon to be the recipient of 200 gil. "Oh, Vinnie," she said to the wind, putting a mocking pout into her voice, "It's so _cold_ out here, thank Leviathan you came after me! But I'm so cold, I don't think there's any way to make a fire, I'll never make it back to Icicle Village alive! Whatever will we do, Vinnie?" She snickered. She had every confidence Vincent would come after her, and now all she had to do was make her way to the series of caves marked on Cloud's old map, where she would wait for Vincent to come and rescue her.

She started off in what she remembered to be the general direction, digging into her pocket. Feeling paper, she pulled out a neatly folded square. Glancing down at it, she gave a small frown. Transferring her planning sheet to her other hand, she dug into her pocket once more.

And felt nothing but cloth.

She stopped, peering disbelievingly into her pocket, eyes confirming what her fingers had already told her. Frantically, she checked her other pocket, but the map was nowhere to be found.

She looked around, suddenly noticing just how cold the wind was. And she, in all her genius had worn her usual outfit, plus a light sweater.

_Not the sort of thing you wear in the middle of a snowstorm, '__genius'_ She scowled. She racked her brains for an eleventh-hour epiphany, but none came.

She was stuck, in the coldest place on the whole world, with only the vaguest idea of which direction held shelter, and with no rescue coming for hours.

"...Oh, _fuck_."

* * *

Tifa clung to Cloud as Costa del Sol faded into the distance behind them. They had spent an additional day there – a shop keep paid Cloud extra to wait a day so he could deliver a parcel to North Corel that wouldn't come in till evening. Tifa hadn't minded the delay, as it gave her a chance to soak up some sun and shake off the chill of the eastern continent's winter, and call Barret, who was watching the kids and minding the bar while she and Cloud were gone. Judging by their current reckless speed, however, Cloud felt the need to make up for the lost time. 

Half way to North Corel, the tone of Fenrir's engine changed from steady roar to a spluttering cough. Cloud, looking alarmed, pulled over to the side of the road. Tifa stepped back as Cloud inspected his precious bike.

He knelt down, staring at the gas gauge.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

"What is it?"

Cloud straightened up, then awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, blushing.

"It's, um, out of gas."

"Oh," Tifa said, then giggled at the expression of shame on his face. "Cloud, don't worry about it."

He gave an annoyed snort, which Tifa knew was directed at himself. "It's just a stupid mistake to make. I was sure I had at least three quarters of a tank when we left Junon..." He frowned.

Tifa shrugged. "Really, Cloud, it's fine. There are some small towns in this area, aren't there?"

Cloud nodded, still frowning. "There's a real small one about an hour's walk from here."

"So let's head over there. They might have gas, and if not we'll just call the RAA."

Sighing, Cloud nodded once more. "Alright." He met her eyes, giving a small grin. "Enough of all this dilly-dally, let's mosey."

She smiled back at him, and they set off, pushing Fenrir.

\/\/\/

After about fifteen minutes, Cloud directed them onto a badly rutted dirt road. They trudged along, not talking, but comfortable in the silence. The temperature was mild with the winter season, the air moist, a welcome change to the usual arid heat of the area. Enjoying Cloud's silent company, time flew for Tifa, and when she glanced up she saw they were almost upon the town - if it could be called that.

It was a collection of about a dozen buildings, all rather old but relatively well maintained. A faded sign next to what Tifa supposed was the main street read _Town of __Frelt._ Tifa and Cloud continued into the town. Three old men, sitting on a bench in front of what appeared to be a general store, stared unabashedly at them as they passed.

"I think they're rather unused to visitors," Cloud whispered quietly to her. Tifa smiled, biting her lip to stop a giggle escaping, and nodded her agreement.

They approached an inn, which seemed the size of a regular house.

"I'll get us a room, you look after Fenrir, okay?"

Cloud agreed, and he wheeled Fenrir around the back. Tifa approached the inn, opening the door cautiously and peering in.

The front lobby was dimly lit, but had an elderly charm about it. A woman, who Tifa put at about fifty years of age, was sitting calmly behind a desk. She looked up at the sound of the door opening and gave a warm smile.

"Do come in, dearie," she called, and Tifa entered, closing the door quietly behind her before approaching the desk.

"Needing a room, are you, dearie?" the lady asked, smiling.

"Yes, thank you," Tifa replied, giving a smile of her own.

"We only have one room, with only one bed. Not many customers in these parts," the innkeeper told her. "Is that alright?"

Tifa averted her eyes to the floor, her smile growing wider before she got it under control. Looking back at the woman, she nodded.

_Yuffie, you're a genius._

"That'll be just fine."

A/N: Well, would ya look at that, Cloud's bike mysteriously ran out of gas. Also, RAA is Roadside Automobile Assistance.


	4. Chapter 4: Popsicles and Tomato Juice

A/N: Apologies for the wait. I finally managed to get my hands on a PS2 and Dirge of Cerberus this past week and therefore spent my spare time playing that. I enjoyed it, though it had nothing on the original FF7, but that was to be expected, and I sucked up all the info on Vincent like a dry sponge. Not to mention playing the game gave birth to quite a number of new plot bunnies, and fed one bunny that's been gnawing on my left leg for a quite some time now. Anyhoo, here's chapter four for you.

**Chapter 4:**** Popsicles and Tomato Juice**

All feeling in her feet had been gone for over ten minutes now. Her hands were shoved deep underneath each armpit in an attempt to keep them warm, and the lower parts of her hair were completely frosted over from her breath.

_This. Really. Sucks._ Yuffie squinted into the wind, looking for some sign of shelter or rescue, but the wind and snow was so bad she could hardly see a dozen feet.

She'd been wandering around for Leviathan-knows how long now, and though she kept herself moving constantly, the cold was beginning to creep up on her. It wouldn't be long now until she passed out and became a nice frozen popsicle for one of the wolves in the area to gnaw on.

_Where's stupid Mr. Holzoff when you need him,_ she thought bitterly. She stumbled through the snow aimlessly, her thoughts drifting. She wondered what her friend's reactions would be when they finally discovered her frozen half eaten popsicle self out here in the snow.

Cid, she decided, would prod her with one of his silly _sticks_, and when he was completely sure that she was dead, would whoop and dance, singing some song that was half cuss words and lighting a victory smoke.

Barret would probably just be confused, then yell about how stupid she was for getting into this mess in the first place.

Cloud wouldn't know how to react at all, and would then run to Aerith's church, mope, avoid everyone, until Tifa went and slapped him a couple times, at which point he would revert to normal and sell all her old weapons.

Tifa would be sad, Yuffie thought, but then she'd be too busy smacking Cloud around and getting spooned to dwell on poor old Yuffie.

Reeve would stay at WRO headquarters, and send Cait Sith to her funeral, who would no doubt mourn loudly in some unintelligible Scottish accent.

Nanaki would howl then jabber on about how she had returned to the Planet and some cosmos-y rubbish that would bore everyone within a five mile radius to tears.

And then there was Vincent. _Bloody Vincent and his broody sexiness, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be in this mess. How would he react to my popsically self?_

_He'd blame himself and shut himself into his coffin for another thirty years or more._

Yuffie stopped walking, frowning. That actually sounded _exactly_ like what Vincent would be wont to do_. He'd probably say that he didn't try hard enough to be ugly and unappealing to women and that he must repent. Then he would flair his cloak dramatically and fly into his coffin of emo-sleeping_

"Nuh uh," she said aloud, startling herself out of her reverie. She had been standing still for over a minute, and she shivered, teeth chattering, wanting nothing more than to fall over and take a snooze.

She gritted her teeth.

"Nuh uh," she repeated as she took a step forward, fighting to make her legs bend. "I am the Great Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi, Single White Rose of Wutai, and I refuse to die," another step, "'cause Vincent would blame himself and be all stupid and lock himself back into that damn coffin, and he deserves to actually live-" Step. "-and you can't live when all you do is have fugging nightmares all day long about a dead chick frozen in mako crystals and another dead chick - who is infinitely cooler than aforementioned other dead chick – frozen in a glacier."

She watched her feet, glaring at them, as if looking at them hard enough would keep her walking. The wind in her face died down for a moment, and she glanced up.

There was a cave, maybe one hundred metres from her, suddenly visible as the wind stilled for a moment, dropping the veils of snow it had been blowing constantly around her.

She stopped, staring at it in disbelief. Then the wind picked up once more, and it was obscured from her vision.

"...Cave," she mumbled, starting a hobbling run towards it. "Cave, cave, cave cave cave cavecavecavecavecave_cavecavecaveOHMYGAWDCAVE!" _She began a headlong sprint, running as fast as she could in the deep snow. She looked up, and – _there – _another glimpse, the dark mouth beckoning her.

"CA – "

Suddenly there was nothing beneath her feet, and she plunged into the freezing lake.

* * *

Tifa wandered around the back of the inn, where she found Cloud on his phone, rubbing his forehead in annoyance. He looked up at the sound of her approach. 

"I'm on hold with the RAA," he told her in response to her questioning look. "For over half an hour now," he added darkly.

"No gas here then, I take it?"

Cloud shook his head. "It's still pretty rare, in fact I think no one here ever _heard_ of gasoline until I asked about it. They still think people use mako to power everything." He scowled, and held up his phone so Tifa could hear the automated voice of RAA, telling them _Your__ satisfaction is important to us. __A__n RAA representative will be right with you__ to provide you with the best possible service._

"Twentieth time I've heard that message," Cloud sighed. "You got us rooms already?"

"Well, _room_, yes," Tifa said, keeping her voice level and neutral. "They only have one room, and one bed, so it looks like we'll be sharing."

Cloud frowned slightly. "You should take the bed, Tifa, I can sleep on the floor or in the batht-"

"No, Cloud. Do you really think I'd make you sleep on the floor so I can have a comfortable bed all to myself?"

"All right, just offering," Cloud held up his free hand in surrender. "I – Hello?" His attention turned to his phone, and he gave Tifa a thumbs-up, signalling that he'd finally gotten through to a live person.

Tifa smiled at him, then wandered away a few steps, looking up at the stars.

"Frelt, that's right...F-R-E-L-T...what do you mean it's not on your map –" Tifa turned back to Cloud, who looked at her with resignation. Covering the mouth piece, he whispered to her, "This might be a while. You should head in, get a nice long sleep for once."

Tifa nodded, and headed back to the inn. She padded softly into their small room, and stared at the single bed. Her stomach flipped, and she gave a small smile. She moved over, and sat gingerly on the bed.

"Stop acting like a teenager," she chided herself quietly. "It's not like you're actually going to sleep with him or anything..."

She froze, then smacked her forehead, before placing her hand over her eyes as she grimaced.

_Not going there, we are NOT going there, shoo, images..._

She took a deep breath.

_I wish I had a drink right now_, she thought. Yes, some homemade Corel wine would be much appreciated at the moment, but it was not a luxury she had at the present time.

The thought of a drink brought her to the second phase of her plan: getting Cloud's shirt off, and on top of that taking a picture of said shirtless-Cloud.

She walked over to her bag, and slowly pulled out a can of tomato juice, studying it. This part would require some luck and timing, but Tifa always believed in creating her own luck. She popped open the can, and took a sip. Though not her favourite drink, she didn't mind tomato juice, and it had the plus side of being incredibly healthy.

It also made for an incredibly resilient stain when spilled on clothes.

She took the open can and placed it on the top of the bedside dresser. She then returned to her bag, and took out a Polaroid camera, gazing at it thoughtfully. Once she got his shirt off, taking the picture would be the easy part. The hard part came in keeping it, and not allowing Cloud to rip it up or burn it.

For a third and final time she rummaged about her bag, before pulling out a framed photograph. She gave a huge smile, just like she did every time she looked at it.

_This should distract him long enough_.

A/N: Brownie points to whoever can guess what the photo is. And oh my, cliffhanger! The next update should be sooner than this one was, though, alas, school starts up again in three days.


	5. Chapter 5: Does It Still Count If

**Chapter 5:**** Does It Still Count If ****You're**** Unconscious?**

Yuffie clung to the ice flow, coughing. The sudden drop into the frigid waters had knocked the breath out of her, and sapped her strength at an alarming rate. Unable to pull herself out of the water, she simply hung onto a large piece of ice, her consciousness slowly beginning to slip.

_The Great Ninja Yuffie is about to meet her demise, and all because she simply wanted a nice spooning with a very sexy gentleman._

Yuffie began to giggle. She couldn't help it. After facing Sephiroth and Bahamut Sin with no lasting damage, she was going to meet her untimely demise by freezing to death while on a quest to just _get_ _some __lovin__'_. She laughed harder, leaning her forehead against the ice.

"Yuffie?"

"Nyuk..nyuk..spoon..."

"Yuffie!"

Yuffie slowly lifted her head, squinting blearily around. She couldn't seem to focus on anything, and there was this blur of red and black rapidly approaching her. _It's Da Chao, coming to chastise me for dying in such a stupid manner _she thought groggily.

Something grabbed her firmly yet gently under her arms, and heaved her out of the water. Yuffie continued to giggle weakly, as she tried in vain to focus on the figure kneeling above her.

"Yuffie, can you hear me?"

She squinted at him.

"Hiiiiii," she slurred at the person. "...You're Da Chao, right?"

"It's Vincent, Yuffie. Can you feel this?"

Yuffie's beleaguered mind tried to process this information. She scrunched up her face in thought.

"Vin...cent?" she muttered to herself, "_Oooh__." _She smiled happily. "_Vinnie_. Heyyy. I was jus' thinkin' about cha ya know-"

"Yuffie, can you feel this?"

"Feel wut now?"

"Shit," she heard him mutter under her breath.

"You shouldn' swear, Vin'ent," she giggled again. Then she finally managed to focus on him properly.

She blinked at him owlishly, his concerned face staring down at her. She stared at him for a moment.

"Well, fuck me sideways, did I ever tell ya you're _really _hot?" she asked, grinning stupidly.

"We need to get you someplace warm, Yuffie."

Yuffie numbly felt herself being wrapped in something warm and lifted gently. Her head lolled against Vincent's chest. She grinned groggily to herself.

"I'm already someplace warm," she grinned lazily. "Ya know, this is a pretty awesome afterlife."

"You're not dead, Yuffie," Vincent replied rather sharply.

"Then this mus' be a dream," she muttered. "But I think I'm too tired to be dreaming..."

"Yuffie, don't fall asleep."

"Go 'way, I'm really tired, just lemme sleep..." She closed her eyes, smiling with her head against Vincent's chest. _Just a quick nap._

"Yuffie!"

"Mmm..."

_"Yuffie, don't go to sleep, __damn__ it..."_

Yuffie faded into unconsciousness, smiling all the while.

\/\/\/

"Yuffie? " Vincent asked in alarm as the ninja went completely limp in his arms. "Fuck," he swore, hugging Yuffie closer to his chest as he ran. When she had not returned from her snowboarding after several hours, unease had settled on him, and he decided to go look for her. He had snowboarded down the slope himself, and there was one single trail going off the final jump. He followed immediately, then tracked her, using the heightened senses of the Galian Beast to help guide him. He had intended to take her back to Icicle Village once he found her, where they were trained to deal with hypothermia, but he had not counted on her falling in the water.

_No time, we need to get her warmed up now._

He jumped neatly off the last ice flow, running for the cave in front of him. He slid inside, noting with hope the vast difference in temperature caused by simply being out of the wind. Gently lying Yuffie down, he pulled out a mastered Fire materia. Focusing on the old ruined shelter inside the cave, he allowed the knowledge of the Ancients to fill his mind, and tendrils of Lifestream rose around him, manifesting into flames, setting the shelter ablaze.

The hike in temperature inside the cave was immediate. He kneeled down to Yuffie. Her lips were blue, and her hair hung limply around her head, clothes hugging her with the weight of the water.

Without hesitation he began removing the wet clothes, taking everything, forcing himself to remain impersonal as he stripped her down. That done, he wrapped her tightly in the cloak once more, then sat back on his heels and watched her.

She was still shivering. The heat of the fire alone was not enough.

Vincent began stripping off his own clothes, down to his black boxers. He went to lie beside her, but paused.

_**Now's not the time for hesitation, Valentine**_, Galian reminded him, in a voice that was rather disturbingly gleeful about the present situation. Clearing his throat, he whispered, "Sorry, Yuffie," and slid under the cloak next to her, hugging her to his body.

* * *

The tomato juice seemed to fly in slow motion through the air, splattering against Cloud's chest as he watched with an expression of surprise. 

"Oh my God, Cloud, I'm so sorry!" Tifa said, waving her arms to help emphasise her supposed franticness.

"It's okay, Teef, really-"

"Take it off!"

"..What?" Cloud stared at her.

"Take it off, quick, if I scrub at it before it sets I might be able to get it all out!"

Cloud hesitated, then began removing his shirt. Tifa turned around, partially to hide her grin and to stop Cloud from seeing the blush on her face, as well as to head towards her bags.

"I've got some cleaning detergent in here..." she told him, as she unearthed the Polaroid camera. She glanced over her shoulder.

Cloud was shirtless.

For a moment she just stared, feeling slightly dazed at the sight, then mentally kicked herself.

_Picture! Picture now!_

She straightened, clutching the Polaroid. Whirling around, she rose the camera, aimed and-

_Click._ A bright flash, leaving Cloud blinking as the freshly developed picture popped out. Tifa neatly caught it, and looked at the picture.

A befuddled Cloud, clutching his stained shirt in one hand stared back at her. The picture was perfect. _I sh__ould look into doing photography. __Cloud could teach me._

"TIFA, WHAT THE HELL?"

She looked back up to Cloud. He was still in the same pose as he was in the picture, but befuddled he was not. Instead, his face was the perfect portrait of bewildered anger.

"...Why did you take a picture of me!? Without a shirt on?"

"Look, Cloud, I'm really sorry, but there's this frequent customer at the bar, and she's a real big fan of you, and she said all she wants is a picture of you, erm, shirtless, and then she could die happy."

She said this all very quickly, and after saying it out loud realized what a crappy lie it was.

Cloud gaped at her.

"You took a picture of me with no shirt on for some _stranger?_"

"Her name is Becky, and she's a very nice person."

Cloud eye's narrowed, and he took a step towards her.

"Give me the picture, Tifa."

"BESIDES!" Tifa shouted, reaching into her bags without turning away from the slowly approaching Cloud, groping behind her until she felt the square edges of a photo frame.

"I thought it might go well with this, on our mantle."

She whipped out the photo with a flourish. Cloud glanced at it, and then back to Tifa, about to say something, before he froze.

He did the biggest double take Tifa had ever seen.

His jaw dropped, and his expression became horrified.

Tifa beamed.

"Wha...How...Gahhh?" Cloud muttered incoherently in a voice several octaves higher than normal, eyes locked on the picture with the stare of morbid fascination usually reserved for coming across car accidents.

"Apparently Corneo had all his possible wives photographed for his own special album of his 'conquerings'." Tifa glanced down at the photo, pursing her lips in mock thought. "I think the diamond tiara _really_ clenched it for you Cloud."

Cloud turned a death glare of Tifa. Taking a deep breath, he grunted, "Picture. Give. Now."

Tifa shrugged, handing the framed photo to him.

Cloud took it from her, staring at it wordlessly, his jaw clenched. Then he turned and strode out of the room.

Tifa watched him go, counting to ten in her head before allowing herself a giggle. She surveyed the other overlooked photo in her hand, admiring Cloud's abs for a moment before carefully tucking the picture between a pair of panties in her bag. _That ought to keep it safe_.

She straightened, and languidly stretched her back. _I wonder how Yuffie's doing? _she thought, but was startled by the door banging open. She turned. Cloud walked back in, his face extremely pink. The reason was immediately apparent.

He hadn't put his shirt back on before leaving.

Tifa's eyebrows rose as she fought to keep her eyes off his _Oh so nice chest and abs and _on his face.

Cloud stared at her.

She stared back.

He picked up his still stained shirt, then walked towards her without putting it on.

He stopped a mere step away from her, eyes narrowed dangerously. Tifa could feel herself beginning to blush at his proximity, but she kept her face relatively impassive and met his glare evenly.

"That..._monstrosity_...has been destroyed," he said, face flushing even further at the mere thought of the picture.

Tifa cocked her head, unperturbed. "Out of curiosity, what did you do to it?"

"I Omnislashed it."

Tifa attempted to suppress a laugh, but ended up just snorting instead. Cloud frowned, and he crossed his hands defensively in front of his chest.

"What?" he snapped.

"Cloud, don't you think that's kind of, overdoing it? It's just a photogr-"

"No, I did not _overdo _it," he snarled. "I can't believe you had a picture of that, and I went through all that humiliation to save you!

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wash out my shirt," he continued, some of the indignant anger leaving his voice as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "When I went out there, the old lady at the desk started undressing me – well, the rest of me – with her eyes."

Tifa put a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter, seeing that Cloud was rather disturbed by this.

"Here," she said, swallowing her mirth. "I'll wash it for you."

Cloud handed the shirt to her. As she took it from him, he suddenly started.

"Wait a sec, where'd that other picture go? The one you-"

"It's a shame you had to destroy that picture, Cloud," Tifa interrupted loudly. "It was my favourite one, made me smile every time I looked at it."

Cloud exhaled loudly through his nostrils. "I'm going to bed."

"Okay, sleep well!" Tifa said, smiling innocently.

"Yeah, right, I'm going to have nightmares for a week now," he muttered as he turned away from her.

Tifa hummed to herself quietly as she turned on the sink and began scrubbing out the stain.

A/N: Brownies to: **Bytemite**, **misanthropic angel**, **me-obviously**, **JingYee**, and **C2-Chikaru **for guessing what the picture was.

::Looks over chapter thoughtfully:: I had some trouble writing this one. I think Tifa is kind of OOC, but it's supposed to be a light humor fic, so ::shrug::. Oh, also, I have no idea what a person acts like when they're hypothermic (except I know they get tired) but when I imagined it, I figured it would be rather like being drunk, in that the mind slows down.

A little bit of Vinnie POV in this one, and next chapter there'll be some Cloud POV. Also, I already have half the next chapter finished (got kinda carried away with the Yuffentine part and ended up writing enough for two chapters) and my English exam is finished tomorrow which means you can expect the next chapter by Sunday.


	6. Chapter 6: Divine Intervention

**Chapter 6:**** Divine Intervention**

Yuffie awoke slowly. She immediately noticed two things.

There was a ceiling above her.

And she felt perfectly cozy.

She sat up slowly, cautiously surveying her surroundings. She was back in her and Vincent's room in Icicle Inn.

_How the hell did I end up here?_ She strained to remember. She'd fallen into the lake, then Vincent had rescued her, and then...

"Hmpf," she snorted. She couldn't remember anything between then and now, except for a strange feeling of utter contentment.

She lay back down with a soft _thump_ against the mattress. _So much for my spooning Vinnie_. She sighed. It had been such a genius plan too. If only she hadn't lost that stupid map or lost consciousness. She absentmindedly picked at a stray thread on her pyjamas.

She froze. Blinked. _What the hell, pyjamas?_

She shot upright, looking down at herself. She was dressed in a pair of light blue flannel pyjamas, which were much too large for her.

And her underwear was gone.

The door to her room opened softly and Vincent walked in. Seeing her awake and alert, he graced her with one of his very rare but genuine smiles.

"Welcome back."

She flashed him a grin, then looked away, scratching the back of her head awkwardly.

"Er, thanks...how long have I been out?"

"About eighteen hours now."

Yuffie's eyebrows rose. "I wish I could sleep that long all the time."

Vincent stared at her, her attempt to make something light of the situation evidently lost on him, and then sat down cautiously on a chair next to her bed. Looking at her with an intensity that made her stomach squirm, he stated softly, "You nearly died."

Yuffie looked away, swallowing.

"Yeah, I know. Yuffie the popsicle..." She looked back at him, meeting his eyes. "Thanks for saving my sorry ass, Vinnie," she said, smiling. "I appreciate it."

He nodded once. "No problem."

"Er, what happened, exactly? I remember you pulling me out of the water, but that's about it."

Vincent waited a moment before responding.

"I took you to the cave I assume you were headed for in the first place," he said slowly. "I lit the old dilapidated shelter there on fire and managed to get you warmed up enough to safely bring you back here." He studied his gauntlet as he said this, black bangs falling over his eyes, obscuring his face.

Yuffie nodded. "And, erm...where are my clothes?"

In the back of her mind, a little movie played, which involved Vincent slowly removing her shirt. She clenched her teeth, trying to keep a grin off her face. _Woah__, girl. __A little self-control here._

"The nurse at the clinic took your clothes when they were treating you for hypothermia. The pyjamas are courtesy of one of the townsfolk. You can pick up your clothes whenever you like from the clinic."

In Yuffie's movie, Vincent suddenly changed to a hideous, eighty year old nurse, complete with copious amounts of wrinkles and warts.

"ARGH!" she yelped, slapping herself before burying her head in her hands as she tried to rid herself of the image.

"...Yuffie, are you alright?"

"What?" she squeaked, her face locked in a pained expression as she looked up at the gunman. "Yes, yes, everything's dandy. Simply fantastically wonderful." She attempted to grin, but, judging by the raised eyebrows across from her, she just ended up looking quite insane.

"Yuffie-"

"_Fine_, just fine! Let's move on, shall we?"

Vincent leaned back into the chair, crossing his arms as he studied her with a small frown. For a moment she thought he was going to pursue her reasons for slapping herself, but he proved her wrong.

"Why did you go off the jump?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd go visit the hot springs," she replied in a carefully casual voice after a slight hesitation.

Vincent's eyebrows rose slightly. Yuffie wondered how high she could make them go if she tried.

"...The hot springs."

"_Yes,_ the hot springs," Yuffie retorted defensively, still eyeing Vincent's eyebrows.

"...Without a map."

"FYI, Vinnie, I had a map, but I lost it on my way down the slope."

The eyebrows remained raised. Yuffie could feel the disbelief emanating from him.

"That was a very foolish thing to do, Yuffie."

She bristled, locking her gaze with his in anger. "Well, no shit Sherlock, I know that now." She fidgeted. "Just seemed like a good idea at the time."

Vincent opened his mouth, no doubt to continue rebuking her, but Yuffie suddenly had more important matters on her mind.

"Save it," she said, leaping out of bed and blinking against the sudden assault of dizziness.

"Yuffie, you shouldn't get up so fa-"

"Gotta pee, Vinnie. And shower. And brush my teeth. We can continue this intellectually stimulating conversation some other time."

She wandered to the bathroom, feeling Vincent's gaze follow her. She closed the door to the bathroom softly, then stopped, mind whirling.

Getting spooned seemed to be out of the question now – she doubted Vincent would let her out of his sight for the rest of their time in Icicle Village, and therefore no more hypothermia, fake or not.

_However, there's still 200 __gil__ on the table, and I'll be damned if I just give up now._

She frowned in thought. There was no time for any sort of involved plan. She would have to improvise.

_But how to get him shirtless..._She removed her pyjamas, stepping into the shower and cranking it up to a scalding temperature.

She stood under the spray, ruminating.

And then it struck her.

* * *

Tifa padded quietly from the bathroom, having finished washing Cloud's shirt out. She had also changed, and was now wearing light pink pyjama bottoms and a white tank. She looked at the bed. All she could see was the back of Cloud's head, blonde hair spiking wildly from beneath the covers. As far as Tifa could tell, he had already fallen asleep. 

She walked over to her side of the bed, sitting down slowly before reaching over and turning off the bedside lamp, dropping the room into darkness. She slipped under the covers, pulling the comforter up to her chin as she rolled onto her side. She then reminded herself of the plan: make sure Cloud was deeply asleep, then saddle up to him gradually, pretending all the while that _she_ was asleep as well (just in case he wasn't), and was just naturally and completely unintentionally moving closer and closer to the sexy hunk sharing the bed with her.

She closed her eyes. _Alright, Tifa, control __your__ breathing. At the moment, you are supposed to be beginning to fall asleep._

Tifa tried to regulate her breathing into that of a natural resting state, but was finding that rather difficult, mainly due to the fact that there was a voice in the back of her mind that wouldn't allow her to concentrate.

_We're in bed with Cloud, the same bed as _Cloud _ohmygod__remember__ his abs? __Chest? __Shoulders?__ And __ohmyGOD__ there's those gorgeous eyes, always those eyes too-_

And etcetera. Tifa was finding this constant inner monologue extremely distracting. Especially since it brought up so many excellent points. So she found herself, a martial arts master, whose discipline over her body and her mind was absolute, unable to control her _goddamn_ breathing.

_Just calm down, Lockhart.__ Just think about something else. What always manages to put you to sleep?_

She pondered a moment.

_Balances._

She grimaced just at the thought of it. They did everything by hand at the Seventh Heaven, so when it came to calculating profits and costs, she had to go through every order, tab, and grocery bill, putting it all down in a massive log book.

She forced herself to make a list of every single ingredient she bought and calculate the approximate monthly price in her head.

It worked very well for slowing her breathing. So well she fell soundly asleep in under ten minutes.

\/\/\/

Cloud stared at the wall, his mako enhanced sight allowing it so he could still make out the major patterns in the floral wallpaper. Behind him, Tifa's breathing was soft and regular. As far as he could tell, she had fallen soundly asleep.

Very slowly, careful not to pull on the covers or make the mattress bounce too much, he rolled over, until he was lying on his other side, and was now staring at Tifa. He gave a small smile as his eyes lighted on her. All he had to do was look at her nowadays and he found himself smiling.

_'It's a shame you had to destroy that picture, Cloud. It was my favourite one, made me smile every time I looked at it.'_

Those two sentences had been bouncing around his head all night. And the insane part was, it actually made _him_ feel guilty. Why should he feel guilty about destroying that, that, _thing_? It had been the most embarrassing day of his life, and of course therefore someone had to take a snapshot. It undermined his very masculinity, and if one of the guys had ever seen it he would've killed himself, or died trying.

But it made her smile.

And _holy Jenova on a hotdog cart_ he loved her smile. The way it lighted up her eyes, those eyes that weren't brown and weren't red but somewhere in between, kind of...mahogany, he supposed. He didn't really know colours all that well, but whatever colour her eyes were, that was his favourite.

He blinked. Tifa was suddenly much closer than she had been some moments ago. Cloud realized he had subconsciously inched closer to her, close enough that he could smell her, and a few wild tendrils of her long hair brushed his face.

Before he realized it – _damn subconscious doing things without notifying me -_ he had snuggled even closer to her, lured by her very presence, it seemed, and snaked one hand across her waist.

He froze, suddenly realizing what he was doing. He didn't move, torn by indecision. This was Tifa, after all. If she woke up, she'd impale his ass on his own hair.

But then, _to hell with it_, he wrapped his arm around her waist, gently sliding her against him, and he buried his face in her hair.

* * *

"You are such a cheater!" the man griped, crossing his arms as a black lock of hair fell into his eyes, partially blocking his view of the scene below. 

His green eyed companion just giggled. "Oh, shush, you wanted it to happen as much as I did. Besides, Cloud was nearly there, I just gave him a gentle push."

He scoffed. "You just want to win our bet." He reached a hand over to his left arm, absentmindedly adjusting the shoulder guard in an action that spoke loudly of habit. "And if you get to use divine intervention, so do I."

The woman next to him raised an eyebrow, tilting her head as she regarded him.

"Like you haven't already?" she asked sweetly.

The man glowered. "Hey, all I did was make her realize how much she wanted a shower. She came up with her idea all on her lonesome. _You,_ on the other hand, actually made him spoon her."

"You can always back out of the bet, if you like," she replied, smiling.

"Nuhuh. You might have managed to get Cloud to dress up like a woman, but you will not be getting me within ten feet of that getup."

She pouted. "But it'd go so well with your eyes, and the tiara would look even better in your hair then it did in his."

He just scowled, before he turned and walked away.

"Bet's still on," he called to her over his shoulder. "The two weeks ain't up yet."

She said nothing, simply smiling as she kneeled down and tended to her flowers.

A/N: -:Bounces on the Cloti fluff:- Oh, look at that, third party influences!

Also, in regards to the timeline: It's been eight days since the bet started, which may seem kind of odd but the last 4 chapters all happened in the same 24-hour period. So six days of mischief remain.


	7. Chapter 7: New Plans, Same Old Cid

**Chapter 7: New Plans, Same Old Cid**

Yuffie clicked her pen with a very much satisfied air.

In front of her was three days of carefully collected notes, all concerning one tall, dark, and brooding crush of hers.

She stretched, wincing as her neck creaked in protest. For three days she had, when it was all said and done, stalked Vincent, often resulting in her being holed up in small spaces for long periods of time. Judging by her stiff muscles and joints, her body was not pleased with her recent activities, but she ignored the aches, grinning instead as she studied the fruits of her efforts. She had meticulously and studiously recorded every moment of Vincent's last three days, not leaving out a single detail.

In truth, the only part of his day that she really needed to know about was when he took a shower, but she had found herself incredibly enjoying the look into his habits. Although she'd be the last to admit it to anyone, she was completely fascinated by him, to the point where it scared her and brought up feelings beyond simple physical attraction that she refused to think about.

She studied her notes. There were several pages of them, but the truly important parts were circled. These circles indicated when Vincent showered.

When she had first come up with her rather desperate plan, Yuffie had been worried that Vincent never showered at all, due to one of the rarely-mentioned 'enhancements' left to him courtesy of Hojo – maybe Vincent simply never got smelly, or something. But her fears had been put to rest, as it turned out he showered every single day, though whether that was because he actually needed to or because he just liked to take showers, Yuffie was not sure. It didn't matter either way; he took showers, and that was all Yuffie needed to know.

His showers, she discovered, were always taken in the God forsaken early hours of the morning. She wanted to yawn just thinking about it. She _did _yawn, due to the fact that she had barely slept the last three days as she completed her stake out on Vincent. Hyperactive teenage ninja aside, it was starting to tell on her, and dark circles had begun to form under her eyes.

_Just one more day, then you can sleep all you like, __Yuffs__, with many pleasant dreams as a bonus_. She set her jaw in determination, refusing to let any more yawns escape as she checked over her newly made planning sheet once more.

Her plan was simple, and was more dependent on luck then she would've liked, but so far it seemed that Leviathan was smiling kindly on her. She had decided she would 'accidently' walk in on Vincent after he took a shower, snap a picture using her camera phone, then flee for the getaway car (which didn't actually exist, but she liked to pretend it did as it seemed much more secret agent-like).

The bathroom in their hotel room had an automatically locking door, which, once locked, could only be opened from either the inside or with the room key. Vincent, after her little escapade in the snow, had kept the hotel key on him at all times, though they both knew she could pick the lock if she felt like. However, picking the bathroom lock, or even using the key, would not be noiseless and therefore allow Vincent time to do something before she got the door open. Fortunately for her, however, the lock on the door was separate from the actual handle, and could therefore be taped so the door would still close but not lock.

The other very, _very_, important part of her plan was that she not walk in too early on Vincent. As much as the idea appealed to her (though she always blushed just thinking about _thinking_ about it and therefore tried to keep her hormones away from that line of thought) she did not think it would be wise to walk in on Vincent when he was completely starkers. She was quite sure that would end up with her head at the pointy end of Cerberus, as a matter of fact. And so timing was everything – she would stand by the door, and listen for him to put his pants on (she had practiced her listening the last two days) before walking in on him. If she left it too late, he would have his shirt on, and that simply would not do.

Content with her plan, Yuffie folded up the paper and carefully tucked it into a _secure_ pocket, before she opened her phone and started casually deleting unimportant pictures to make memory space for pictures that would soon adorn her display background and make her drool every time she opened her phone.

As she waited for one picture to erase, she glanced at the clock. It was after six in the evening, and Vincent would be back in the next hour or two. He still insisted on investigating the 'supposed illicit activities' they had been sent out here to investigate in the first place. Yuffie had refused to go, calling it a waste of time - which, in all fairness, it was. Vincent didn't seem too unhappy about her refusal, instead appearing rather relieved that she would stay put indoors (or so he thought, unaware of her other intentions that involved following him absolutely _everywhere_).

Vincent's earliest shower in the last three days had been at – Yuffie suppressed a shudder at the thought – four-thirty in the morning. Which meant that tomorrow she would be up at four. She again became aware of how sleep deprived she was when another yawn forced its way out of her mouth, and she contemplated going to bed early to catch up a bit, now that she didn't need to watch Vincent's every action. She immediately decided against it though, not wanting to alert Vincent to anything being wrong.

Done purging her phone's memory, she plugged it into the charger. The last thing she needed tomorrow was a shirtless Vinnie and a phone that was out of batteries.

She flicked on the TV, surfing rather listlessly, her thoughts already on tomorrow and the hopeful sights it would bring. She wondered if Tifa had managed to get spooned and/or a picture of Cloud shirtless yet. She was curious, but she would find out soon enough. Cid was flying Tifa and Cloud back from Rocket Town and picking up Yuffie and Vincent on the way. He would be arriving in two days.

By that time, Yuffie planned to be 200 gil richer.

* * *

Tifa sat in Cid and Shera's kitchen, sipping a cup of tea. They had arrived in Rocket Town earlier that day, three days after leaving Frelt and two days after finishing their delivery in Corel. Tifa had taken advantage of their stop at Corel to pick up some genuine Corel-grown herbs for refilling Seventh Heaven's stock of wine ingredients.

The front door opened, and Shera appeared, arms full of groceries, closely followed by an oil-spattered Cid, freshly returned from his workshop at the airfield. Tifa put down her tea and rose to help Shera with the groceries. She grinned at the pilot as she did so, not having seen him in some weeks.

"Hi, Cid," she greeted him.

"'Eya, Tifa, what the hell you doin' 'ere?" Cid replied, returning her grin. He stopped suddenly and did a second take, squinting at her.

"What?" Tifa asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"What the fuck's got you so happy?" Cid asked, frowning. Shera was frowning too, but hers was directed at Cid and his choice of language. Tifa privately thought that Shera was fighting a losing battle if she was trying to clean up Cid's vocabulary.

Tifa shrugged. Shera had asked her and Cloud the same question when they had arrived. Apparently they both were in a much happier mood than usual. Though she couldn't explain Cloud's increase in positivity, she knew perfectly well her own reason. Currently it was tucked away in between a pair of panties in her bag.

She smiled at the thought of it.

"See!" Cid exclaimed. "Look atcha, all happy-go-fucking-lucky for no fucking reason at all."

Tifa laughed.

"I'm not sure why I'm in such a good mood, Cid. Maybe it's the change of scenery."

Cid snorted loudly, sitting down heavily and propping his feet up on the table. "Change of scenery my ass, if I didn't know better I'd say you got laid," he said, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket.

Tifa instantly flushed red.

"_Cid,_" Shera reprimanded, throwing an apologetic look in Tifa's direction and tearing away the cigarette pack from the blonde, which was promptly tossed in the garbage.

"What?" Cid asked, frowning at the garbage can as if it it was the one who had confiscated his precious cancer-causers.

Shera was saved the trouble of answering by Cloud returning from his delivery.

"Hello again, Cloud," Shera smiled at him.

Cloud smiled back, and opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a loud exclamation from Cid.

"You too? What the fuck? Why're you so happy too, huh?" he gestured wildly at a bewildered Cloud. Then he stopped, and his gaze shifted to Tifa, then back to Cloud.

"AHA!" he yelled triumphantly, startling the other occupants of the room. "You guys laid each other, am I right or am I right? About fucking time, if I say so myself!"

Tifa felt her gut turn in mortification as her whole face heated up. She didn't dare look at Cloud, but out of the corner of her eye she saw his jaw drop and his face turn a previously undiscovered shade of scarlet.

"CID HIGHWIND!" Shera shrieked, smacking Cid on the arm. "Have I taught you no sense of decency at all?"

"_What?_" Cid whined, rubbing his arm. "I'm just sayin', is all."

Shera shook her head in exasperation. Tifa studiously avoided looking at Cloud, instead entertaining herself with various imaginings of her causing Cid serious bodily harm. Her gaze flickered to Cloud momentarily against her will. From the glower on his face – which was still quite red – he was entertaining similar thoughts.

"Right, well, how about you help Cloud with his things, Cid?" Shera suggested in a _do-it-right-now-or-you-are-on-the-couch-the-rest-of-your-very-very-short-life_ kind of tone. Cid apparently picked up on it, because he clapped his hands together and grabbed Cloud's bags, giving Shera a quick kiss on the cheek before lugging his load upstairs with Cloud in his wake.

Shera watched them go with narrowed eyes, waiting until they were all the way upstairs before turning to Tifa to apologize once more. Seeing her intent, Tifa help up a hand to forestall her.

"Don't worry about it Shera, it's just Cid being Cid."

Shera gave her a sympathetic look. "I know he's crude about it, but he really just wants the best for you two."

Tifa raised her eyebrows, and before she could stop herself, asked, "He thinks the best for thing for us is for us to sleep with each other?" She blinked a moment later, realizing what she said, and felt the blush from Cid's comment, that had begun to diminish, return in full force.

Shera now gave her another look, which was decidedly less sympathetic and much more the satisfied smirk of a woman who had finally gotten her friend to admit she has the hots for boy next door.

"Cid's eloquence aside, he's perfectly right about you two being less broody than usual." Shera said as she finished packing away the groceries. "If you don't mind my prying, did something happen between you two?"

"Well..." Tifa began, squirming slightly. "I did, erm..."

Shera leaned against the kitchen counter, arms folded across her chest as she waited patiently.

"I got a picture of him with his shirt off," Tifa finished in a rush, sure that the heat from her face could power a small town.

Shera's eye widened slightly, then she beamed. Seeing Tifa's embarrassment, she came over and patted her lightly on the arm, sitting next to her.

"To be honest, I'm surprised that Cid and I are the only married couple in our merry band of ex-terrorists," she stated bluntly. "Everyone thought you and Cloud would've gotten together ages ago."

Tifa shrugged, frowning, her awkwardness disappearing in face of a sympathetic ear from a woman ten years her senior and with infinite more experience in the field of love.

"It was really hard for him to let go of Aerith. He felt guilty for her death, and the fact is that he did love her, back in the day," Tifa said softly without any bitterness. She and Aerith had been like sisters, and she would never hold anything against her. She could hardly blame Cloud for loving Aerith or Aerith for loving Cloud. She knew you didn't choose who you fell in love with.

"Be that as it may, he can't keep living in the past. I think he's already realized that, though," Shera said, looking thoughtful. "Because, unless he took a picture of you without _your_ shirt on," she glanced at Tifa, raising an eyebrow in silent enquiry. Tifa giggled, shaking her head. Shera continued. "He is in an inexplicably good mood. I swore I saw him whistling to himself as he left to do his deliveries this morning."

Tifa frowned in puzzlement at the words. Now that she stopped to really think about it, Cloud was in a much lighter, happier mood than he usually was. Especially since Frelt, which confused her. He obviously hadn't taken pleasure in her pictures of him, so what had made him so happy?

"I take it you have no idea why, then," Shera asked. Tifa looked up, startled from her thoughts, to see Shera studying her closely. Tifa slowly shook her head.

"None, I'm afraid."

They sat in silence a few moments.

"Have you tried asking him?" Shera asked suddenly.

Tifa opened her mouth, about to respond with _Of course_ but paused, realizing that would be a lie. "I...no, I haven't."

"Maybe you should make an inquiry," Shera suggested wryly. "I've always found communication to be easier when you actually speak with the other party."

"Does communication work well when half the conversation is 'fuck'?" Tifa asked, grinning innocently.

"Depends what the conversations about," Shera replied without hesitation, grinning back at Tifa, who let out a loud burst of laughter at that. Tifa sobered quickly though, and she looked at the older woman earnestly.

"Do you enjoy being married?"

Shera gave a small smile. "It has its ups and downs, as does everything else, but..." She idly spun the ring on her finger, staring at the softly reflecting light off the gold as she considered her answer. "When you find the right person, it's the best experience in the world, waking up everyday next to them, making meals with them, brushing your teeth with them, just simply _being_ there with them. And you can have that all without being married, of course, but when you're actually married, it just seems to make all those things...I don't know, a hundred thousand times better." She gave a self-conscious laugh, shaking her head and grinning ruefully. "I'm sorry. The answer is absolutely, I love Cid and I love being married to him."

It was the absolute truth. Tifa could see the complete sincerity in Shera's eyes and hear it in her tone. She wanted to ask her more about it but was interrupted by Cid and Cloud tramping back down the stairs. Shera, giving her one last smile, got up to start making dinner, leaving Tifa to her thoughts.

Tifa watched Cloud out of the corner of her eye, musing over the conversation in her head. She imagined momentarily being married to him, but she quickly turned away from that train of thought, as it filled her with a sickening amount of both terror and hope. Instead she settled on observing his mood, noticing with startling clarity the truth of Cid and Shera's previous statements; Cloud truly _was_ in a good mood. And for the life of her, she could not figure out why.

She resolved to ask him the first chance she got.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry for the wait in updates, but I had to put this on hiatus so I could focus on my exams. That said, exams are all over and done with, so back to writing I go. Hope the longer chapter helps make up for the wait. I'd also like to say that I really appreciate all the reviews I've gotten so far – you guys all rock, and if I could, I'd bake you all cookies, but if I did all you would get are charred lumps of _something_. I do make killer Kraft Dinner though, if anyone would like some. That aside, though, I am truly grateful for all the feedback.

A slightly serious chapter, but expect more fun and fluff in the next one!


	8. Chapter 8: Surprise!

**Chapter 8:**** Surprise!**

With the muffled _clunk_ so common of aged plumbing, Vincent's shower began.

Yuffie took a deep breath to calm herself, and slowly rose from her bed. It was just past a quarter to five in the morning and she'd been waiting for Vincent to wake up for forty-five minutes now.

He was up, showering, and now it was go time.

With stealth only achievable by the best and most highly-trained ninjas, Yuffie soundlessly glided towards the bathroom until she stood at the door. In her one hand she clenched her phone, ready and waiting in camera mode. Hardly even breathing, she waited, tense, for the shower to end.

After what seemed like years, and another series of _clunk_s, it did.

Yuffie stopped breathing completely, focusing her entire being on the sounds behind the door. First came the _swish_ of the curtain being pulled back, and then the barely audible sounds of Vincent stepping out. Closing her eyes, she listened as he slipped on his underwear (_Boxers or briefs? __Dammit__, Yuffie, _focus). Moving her hand to the doorknob, she waited for the green light.

In this case, it was the quiet _zip_ of a fly being done up.

She twisted the knob and walked in, phone up in front of her. She didn't dare to look up, waiting until a mini Vincent filled her display before clicking the 'Capture' key.

The shutter noise of the camera announced _Mission Successful._

Only then did she allow herself to look at Vincent directly.

He was staring at her, crimson eyes slightly widened with an expression of surprise that was unmistakable, even coming from Vincent. He was barefoot, standing on the tile floor and wearing only a pair of black pants and holding a black shirt in one hand. The rest of him was bare.

It was the 'rest of him' that held Yuffie's attention.

He was lean, just approaching the point of thinness, but his muscles were defined and she couldn't see a trace of fat on him. His pale skin was crossed with dozens of white scars, barely noticeable against his natural pallor. His hair, wet and dripping still, hung down over his face, unrestrained by its usual headband. However, despite the incredibly lovely piece of work that was his body, Yuffie found herself focusing on his left hand.

The gauntlet was off, and below it was a perfectly normal hand, fingers long and slender. She stared, unable to stop herself. She had never seen him without it on before, and for reasons she couldn't explain the revealed hand fascinated her.

Not that she didn't appreciate the rest of him though.

"Yuffie," Vincent said sharply, letting her know that viewing times were at an end and that the display would soon be closing. "Would you mind? What are you doing in here?"

She tore her eyes from his hand and met his gaze, which had narrowed in suspicion and, she gulped, anger.

It suddenly struck her that the sight of his uncovered hand had distracted her so much she had completely forgotten the rest of her plan.

_DO SOMETHING YOU IDIOT!_ screamed her conscious in a voice that sounded remarkably like Cloud.

She snapped her gaze away from him, staring at the ceiling instead.

"I am so sorry, Vinnie, I didn't know you were in here, oh my _gawd_ I'm sorry, the door wasn't locked-"

"Yuffie," he interrupted, sounding rather strangled, "Please get out."

"Right, right, I'm so sorry..." She kept up the stream of apologies as she backed out of the bathroom, not daring to look at him. She shut the door behind her.

She could swear she could still feel him glaring at her through the thick wood of the door.

She let out a long, low sigh of relief, and started to grin to herself as she pocketed her phone. Such a simple plan and it had worked perfectly. Well, except when she had stopped and stared, but, oh well. Still, all it had taken was a phone and a piece of tape.

Her lungs seemed to compress in fear for a moment. _The tape._ She had forgotten all about the piece of tape that was _still over the lock oh fuck __ohfuck__ohfuckityfuck._ Vincent was going to murder her. And then murder her _again_. And then eat her, just for good measure.

_Think __Yuffs__, THINK._ She closed her eyes, trying to focus past the knot in her stomach. She had to get that tape back. She stepped closer to the door, squinting to see if maybe the tape had come loose and was sticking out or better yet had fallen off completely.

No such luck, though she hadn't really expected any. She was a master taper of locks, after all.

She leaned forward, putting her eye to the door crack to see if she could see the tape. Maybe she could remove it with tweezers.

Her predicament was temporarily put on hold, however, as the door opened.

Right into her head.

She fell backwards, clutching her forehead and swearing profusely. Mini shirtless Vincents danced around her head in endless circles as she blinked, trying to regain her vision.

For a moment she saw double, then everything righted itself again. Or so it seemed, but there was still a Vincent, albeit with a shirt on –

Wait, no, that was the real Vincent, looking down at her as she blinked at him from where she lay on the floor.

He didn't look terribly happy with her.

She grinned nervously at him. "Hiya, Vince."

He glowered. "Explain yourself."

_Gotta__ get the tape, __gotta__ get the tape..._

"Explain what, Vinnie?" she asked, attempting to somehow crabwalk her way around him to get to the door.

"What you were doing in the washroom."

"Well, I really needed to pee, and generally people pee in the washroom, Vince. Look, I had no idea you were in there, really-"

"That noise your phone made..."

She froze. She had hoped that he wouldn't be too familiar with the more intricate working of cell phones.

"What did you do with it?"

"Are you gonna help me up?"

He scowled, but held out a hand. His right hand, she noticed as she grabbed it. Her eyes flickered to his left. The gauntlet was once more in place. The sight of it made her feel inexplicably depressed.

Vincent hauled her to her feet, and she returned her gaze to his eyes. His face was blank once more. She wondered if he had noticed her look.

"Thanks," she grinned lopsidedly at him, rather aware of the distance, or lack thereof, between them, and her hand in his.

He released her as if sensing this and backed away a step. She felt slightly disappointed, but made herself saddle around him and position herself in front of the door.

"What did you do with it?" he asked again.

"With what, my phone? I was just texting Tifa," she replied, not really paying attention as her left hand felt along the doorframe behind her back.

Vincent was frowning again. "My phone doesn't make that noise when I text."

Yuffie shrugged, and had to fight from letting out a whoop of triumph as her fingers brushed against the tape. She removed it, casually returning her hand to her side. "I must have a different model than you."

She suspected Vincent did not believe her, but he let it drop. Instead his eyes travelled to her forehead, where she could feel the beginning of a bump forming. "What were you doing right outside the door?"

"I, er, wanted to apologize to you again."

She gave what she hoped was a sheepish and regretful smile at him. The last thing she needed now was him to think she was trying to spy on him through the door cracks. Because that was _so_ two days ago.

He studied her for a moment, apparently weighing her answer, before stepping forward suddenly. She backed into the bathroom door in surprise, causing it to swing shut and she bumped against it.

He stopped, seeing her reaction, and held up a hand. If she didn't know better, she'd swear he was suppressing a grin.

"I just wish to examine your injury," he reassured her.

She glared at him suspiciously. "You're not gonna shoot me, are you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't need to approach you to do that, now would I."

She blinked, then beamed at him. "Was that a _joke_, Vince? I can't believe it- "

This time he did smile slightly. She relaxed, confident he was not planning to blow one of her limbs off, but stiffened again almost immediately as he closed the distance between them and raised his right hand to her forehead, brushing her hair away with a feather-light touch so he could better examine her injury.

She felt her whole body heat up and her face flush as his fingers brushed her face. She repressed a shiver, and closed her eyes, trying extremely hard to pretend that he didn't exist.

Needless to say, she failed miserably.

He ran a finger very softly over the lump that had already formed. "Does it hurt?"

_No, it feels absolutely wonderful. _She opened her eyes, "N-Yes, well, kind of, really Vinnie I'm fine-" she stammered, feeling completely at a loss as she stared at his chest.

"Look at me."

"What?" she asked, feeling ridiculously nervous. _Get a hold of yourself, woman. You call yourself a ninja?_

"Look at me, Yuffie, you might be concussed," he said in a very commanding tone, tilting her chin up with one hand and peering intently at her. From somewhere he produced a penlight, and shined it in her eyes, flicking it back and forth.

"Vincent, I'm fine, honest." He turned off the light, frowning at her with concern, dropping his hand from underneath her chin.

She found herself missing it enormously.

"Are you sure? It's quite the impressive lump," he stated, still eyeing her with some unease, as if she might suddenly keel over.

"Yes, Vince, and I'm glad that you find it impressive, I was going for that look." She stuck her tongue out at him, trying to shake off the effect of his close proximity.

For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence. Well, awkward for her. Vincent looked completely normal, in that his face was expressionless.

Then:

"Bathroom's free," he stated abruptly, before turning and leaving.

Yuffie's jaw dropped, eyes lingering on the door even after he left as she stood in disbelief. Typical of Vincent to develop at sense of humour at her expense. She shook herself, stumbling into the bathroom, feeling completely dazed by the events of the day.

And it wasn't even 5AM yet.

* * *

Tifa did not have the chance to interrogate Cloud until the next day, when Shera went out with Cid early that morning to the airfield to ready the _Shera_ for their departure later that day, leaving the house to Tifa and Cloud. 

At the moment, Tifa was sitting at the kitchen table, in the same chair from which she had conversed with Shera the night before. She nibbled on some toast and nursed a coffee as she waited for Cloud to wake, determined to ask after the source of his positive mood. As she waited, she idly wondered if there was any remaining opportunity to get spooned, but she could see none. She had blown her chance by falling asleep in Frelt, and she was rather annoyed with herself over it. She mollified herself with the thought that at least she had gotten a picture of him shirtless.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Cloud wandered down the stairs, yawning sleepily, his blonde spikes flattened down on one side of his head, indicating that he had spent the night sleeping on his side. Tifa tried to stop herself from grinning at the lopsided sight but failed.

Cloud noticed her and smiled back self-consciously at her grin, raising his eyebrows.

"What?"

Tifa gestured to his hair. "Might want to take a look at that," smiling as she sipped her coffee.

Cloud patted the side of his head, realizing the source of her amusement. Laughing softly, he ran his fingers through it, and his hair miraculously sprung up again, arranging itself into its customary spikes.

Tifa stared. "How the hell do you _do _that?"

Cloud gave her a confused look. "Do what?"

"_That,_" she said, gesturing to his hair again. "You hardly touch it and it goes perfect."

Cloud shrugged. "Just does that."

Tifa felt almost ridiculously jealous. Her hair, while not requiring a great deal of maintenance, did however need copious amounts of brushing each day. She eyed Cloud's hair with narrowed eyes, a look frequently seen on jealous teenage girls.

Cloud laughed at her expression. Tifa shook her head, laughing ruefully at herself. She watched Cloud from behind her coffee as he helped himself to some brightly coloured cereal. She figured that now was a good a time as any to ask him.

"Cloud?"

"Mm?"

"Why are you so, well, don't take this the wrong way, but, why have you been so _happy_ these last few days?"

Cloud frowned at her around a mouthful of something that was probably unhealthily sugary. Chewing loudly, he swallowed, before he asked, "Whadya mean?"

Tifa fidgeted, feeling rather awkward about it. They really didn't have many 'personal feelings' talks, as it brought up questions neither of them were truly comfortable with answering.

"I mean...you've just been in a really good mood the last couple days, and I was wondering, well, why?"

She thought she detected the faintest blush on his cheeks, but it could have been her imagination. Or a reaction to the diabetes-causing cereal.

Cloud shrugged in what was very much a nonchalant manner. "Dunno, really. Maybe it's because the hours haven't been so long the last few days."

Tifa frowned slightly at this, but said nothing, unwilling to press the matter.

"Are you sure?"

Tifa blinked, wondering for a moment who had asked the question before realizing it had been her. She blushed. If she felt so uneasy about the conversation, why the hell had she pushed it?

Cloud stared at her, looking slightly uneasy. "Yeah, I'm sure, I've just...slept well, I guess?"

His tone had taken on a slightly defensive, please-stop-asking tone. Tifa's frown became more pronounced. _Why would he be defensive about sleeping well?_ Intending to find out, she opened her mouth to ask, but was interrupted by the trash can in the corner suddenly bursting into flames.

Cloud yelped, dropping the cereal bowl with a crash as it contents spilled all over his bare feet. Tifa skidded back in the chair, leaping to her feet, feeling completely flabbergasted.

"What did you do?!" she yelled at him, frantically running to assist him as he poured cartons of milk on the flaming can in an attempt to put it out.

"Nothing, I dunno what happened!" he returned, frantically tearing at another carton of milk, this one chocolate. Tifa started filling a bucket with water, anxiously glancing back and forth from the bucket to the flames, mentally urging the water to _fill up faster for fuck sake_.

After several agonizing seconds, it did fill, and she upended it over the flames, which sputtered out and for the most part died under the deluge. Cloud ran forward, beating out the remaining flames with his hands and a dishtowel.

In under a minute, they had managed to put out the fire. They stood shoulder to shoulder, panting, soot covered, and reeking of burnt trash. Tifa stared at the burnt remains of the garbage can, then looked at Cloud, completely at a loss. Cloud met her gaze a moment later, and she could tell that he was just as confused as she was.

They spent the next two hours cleaning up the kitchen, themselves, and shopping for garbage cans.

* * *

"ZACK!" Aerith screeched, hands clenched in rage. "HOW _DARE_ YOU SABOTAGE MY COUPLE!" 

Zack crossed his arms, not backing down. "You were cheating again! Trying to get Cloud to admit to spooning Tifa!"

"SO WHAT?" Aerith yelled, practically quivering with rage.

"IT'S CHEATING!" Zack yelled back indignantly.

"AND CAUSING THE GARBAGE TO SPONTANEIOUSLY BURST INTO FLAMES ISN'T?"

Zack opened his mouth, then closed it again, squirming but still looking rather smug. "You got to admit, it was a pretty sweet distraction."

"YOU COULD'VE BURNED THEIR HOUSE DOWN!" Aerith shrieked. Zack winced.

"Tifa and Cloud handled it fine, didn't they? Anyways, don't try to blame this all on me, you're the one who started it."

"Oh don't pretend like you're all innocent," Aerith snapped, the volume in her voice lowered again but her voice dripping with venom. "You inspired Yuffie."

"Yeah, to take a shower, and she came up on the rest with her own. _You_, on the other hand, made Cloud spoon Tifa and then tried to get him to admit to it because you got her spooned when she was asleep!"

Aerith glowered at him. Zack matched her glare with one of his own. Aerith, unable to deny the words, threw her arms up and turned away with a huff, stalking through the flowers.

"See, I told you," Zack called, feeling immensely satisfied that he had won the argument.

"You can tell the couch when you fall asleep tonight," she shot back without looking at him.

Blinking, Zack frowned, then walked in the other direction, muttering to himself.

* * *

A/N: Wow, that was a long one. Hope you enjoyed! This will probably finish up in the next chapter or at the very most the next two chapters. 


	9. Chapter 9: The Power of Cid

**A/N:** Here's the last chapter. This one has a little bit of everyone's perspective. Enjoy!

**Chapter 9:**** The Power of Cid**

Yuffie squinted into the swirling snows as the _Shera_ touched down just outside of Icicle Village. Next to her stood Vincent, seemingly unaffected by the lashing winds that twirled his cloak around him. Their mission has been unsuccessful; there had been no sign of any 'suspected illicit activities', but that wasn't much of a surprise to Yuffie, considering the whole mission was a bogus lie created for her own conniving uses.

The great loading doors opened, and Yuffie and Vincent shouldered their bags and hoofed it up the ramp. Once inside, they began making their ways through the twisted corridors of steel towards the bridge, Yuffie greeting the crew they passed with a grin and a joke while Vincent just nodded, stoic as always.

Yuffie had to restrain herself from cart-wheeling all the way to the bridge. She was in an excellent mood, mainly due to the fact that every time she opened her phone a picture of Vincent shirtless greeted her. She'd been staring at her background so much her batteries kept running out three times faster than normal.

She was also giddy with the anticipation of talking to Tifa so they could catch up on their various exploits. Plus, there was a possible 200 gil waiting for her, or, more specifically, awaiting her picture.

Yuffie and Vincent arrived at the bridge shortly after boarding. Through the great bay windows, Yuffie could see that ground below them begin to shrink as they took off once more, heading for Edge. The first tendrils of nausea gripped her, but for once she managed to ignore them, thanks to the beaming brunette bartender that was waiting for her.

"Tifa!" she shrieked, and Vincent's expression tightened slightly as his eardrum undoubtedly popped. Ignoring this, Yuffie dropped her bags and ran over to her best friend, enveloping her in a tight hug.

"Hi Pancake," Tifa greeted. "How did the mission go?" she asked, giving her a look that said _Details. __Now._

Yuffie grinned wickedly. She grabbed her bags once more, and gestured to the exit. "I gotta put these away, I'll tell you as we go." She waved to Cloud, who was reclining in a spare chair, then headed off, Tifa in tow, giving a parting "Laters, Vinnie!" as she left.

As soon as they were out of earshot they sprinted for Yuffie's small room aboard the _Shera_. Throwing themselves into the room, Yuffie locked the door before joining Tifa, who was sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Well?" Yuffie inquired eagerly, bouncing with excited energy.

Tifa smiled. "I messed up, so no spooning," she started, and Yuffie pouted in sympathy.

"But..." Tifa continued, reaching dramatically into the back pocket of her pants. "I did manage to procure this."

She whipped out the photo of Cloud, sans shirt, with a flourish. Yuffie's jaw dropped, then she cackled with glee, holding up her hand for a high five, which Tifa provided.

"Nice job, Teefs," she grinned at the martial artist. "Shame about the spooning, but at least you got a lil something to remind you of your adventure. Did you do it all according to the plan we came up with?"

Tifa nodded. "He completely forgot I'd taken the picture once I showed him the other one." Yuffie snickered, remembering the photo of what she had dubbed 'Miss Cloud, Queen of Trannies'. "As I expected, he flipped out and destroyed the photo. I forgot to mention that I still have the original, as well as a dozen more copies hidden in various places. How'd you do, though?"

Yuffie shrugged. "Nearly died, and _still_ didn't get spooned, or a picture. Apparently Vince managed to warm me up some other way."

Tifa frowned. "'Apparently'?"

Yuffie shrugged again. "I was unconscious from hypothermia. Anyhoo, I managed a bit of improvisation, and _voila_. I intend to upload it to my laptop as soon as we get back." She held up her phone, displaying the semi-pornography that adorned her background. Tifa eyed it, eyebrows raised with an impressed expression. Yuffie snapped it shut.

"Hey, stop ogling my guy. You got Cloud."

Tifa wrinkled her nose at her. "I wasn't checking out Vincent, though that's not to say he's not in very nice shape. I'm impressed that you managed to do it. Even Cloud isn't as touchy about his privacy as Vincent. What'd you do to get his shirt off? It looked like he was in a washroom."

"He was. Even introverted vampires shower. A teeny piece of tape on the lock, and all I had to do was walk in and _click_eroo."

Tifa nodded. "I guess we're even on the bet then," she pointed out.

"Yup," Yuffie agreed, lying back on the bed with an exaggerated sigh. "Wish I could've gotten spooned though..."

Tifa echoed her sigh. She studied Yuffie for a moment.

"What happened to your forehead?"

An uncontrollable grin broke out across Yuffie's face as she reached up a hand to cautiously poke the jaundiced lump, which had only just begun to shrink again. "Courtesy of the bathroom door opening into my head."

Tifa winced, then narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why are you smiling about it?"

Trying to look nonchalant and modest, she replied, "Vinnie took a look at it. He was very gentle about it."

Tifa giggled, punching Yuffie's arm lightly. "You lucky dork."

Yuffie stuck out her tongue in response. "You're just jealous."

Tifa shook her head. "I got to sit behind Cloud on Fenrir for nearly forty hours of travel time. That's forty hours of hugging him."

Yuffie yawned. "Nice. I had to stay up for twenty hours a day to discover when Vince takes his showers."

"When we were at Cid and Shera's, their garbage can burst into flames when me and Cloud were eating breakfast."

Yuffie blinked at her, eyes wide. "How the fuck did ya manage that one?"

Tifa shrugged. "Search me." They sat in silence for a few moments, both reminiscing on their various experiences over the last two weeks. Pursing her lips, Yuffie questioned, "I wonder what Cloud and Vince are talking about right now?"

* * *

Cloud and Vincent sat in an out-of-the-way corner of the bridge, lounging comfortably in two chairs as they idly poked around a board of checkers. 

"So how did the mission go?" Cloud asked, jumping his red piece over one of Vincent's blacks.

Vincent was silent, studying the board, not speaking until he neatly leaped a black token over two of Cloud's checkers and claimed them.

"Nothing came up. Did the deliveries go alright?"

Cloud nodded, pondering his next move. "Yeah, same old driving and overcharging hotels." He slid a piece up a square.

Vincent stared at the board, unconsciously rolling a checker back and forth across his fingers.

"Yuffie nearly got herself killed," he commented. Cloud looked up from the board at this, eyebrows raised in surprise. Vincent met his gaze evenly, before returning his attention to the game in front of him.

"How'd she manage that?" Cloud asked, checkers temporarily forgotten.

"She thought she'd take a snowboard and head down to the hot springs, apparently. She lost the map she had, and ended up nearly freezing to death after falling into a lake." He cautiously slid one of his own pieces up, attempting to bait Cloud into taking it so he could take three of Cloud's pieces in return.

"Christ," Cloud muttered. "How'd she end up escaping that one?" He ignored Vincent's bait and instead moved another piece up the board.

"I found her," Vincent replied shortly, feeling awkward as he thought about the events of that day. He jumped Cloud's newly moved piece, hopping over a second to land in the back row. "King me."

Cloud, sensing Vincent's discomfort, didn't press the matter. He grudgingly placed a second checker on top of Vincent's piece. He drummed his fingers against the table top, frowning at the board. He glanced at Vincent, debating whether or not to tell him about the more interesting aspects of his latest trip.

He slid another checker up the board, trying to get it out of the immediate vicinity of Vincent's threatening king. Waiting for Vincent to make his move, he made up his mind and decided to tell him.

"I spooned Tifa."

Vincent blinked, looking up at the blonde with a raised eyebrow. "Congratulations?" he offered tentatively.

Cloud snorted at the response, feeling strangely relieved at having told someone. It was nice to have a chance for some guy talk, since he was generally by himself or with Tifa and the kids. "Thanks. She was asleep and doesn't know about it." He thrust out his chin at the board. "Your move still."

A silence fell. Then:

"I spooned Yuffie," Vincent stated, making himself focus on the board as Cloud's jaw dropped out of the corner of his eye.

"You _what?_" Cloud hissed.

"To save her life," Vincent glowered, red gaze flickering to him. "She was going to freeze to death otherwise."

Cloud leaned back in his chair, pondering this information silently as he studied the ex-Turk.

"You like her, don't you?" he asked as Vincent slid his king back towards the center of the board.

Vincent frowned at him from underneath his cloak. "No, I do not."

Cloud smirked. "Yes, you do," he countered, checker board again forgotten at this new development.

"I. Do. _Not,_" Vincent repeated emphatically.

"Someone's in denial," Cloud said in a sing-song voice, grinning openly now.

"Just because you're desperately in love with Tifa doesn't mean I have the hots for Yuffie," Vincent stated flatly. Cloud's grin disappeared, and he blushed. Vincent allowed himself a small smirk at his victory. Cloud, however, was not about to give up that easily.

"...Did you just say_ '__hots'_?"

Vincent rubbed his forehead with his gloved hand. "It's your move, Cloud," he gestured at the board.

Cloud ignored him, the grin back on his face. "She's rubbing off on you already."

"Cloud, it's your move."

Cloud, still grinning, carelessly moved a checker. "I think she'd be good for you, actually."

Scowling, Vincent captured the newly placed checker. He was feeling very grateful that he hadn't mentioned the fact that Yuffie had been naked and he had been wearing only his boxers. Though he knew that he had only been doing what was necessary, Cloud would undoubtedly have a field day with the bit of information.

"Your move."

Cloud ignored him. "What, you don't agree with me? She's a great kid."

"She is not a kid," Vincent corrected automatically before he could stop himself.

Cloud gave a very feral smile. "Ah, my mistake. I'm thinking you do agree with me then."

"No, I'm not agreeing with you. I'm just saying that Yuffie is no child."

"So what, you think she's stupid or something then?" Cloud pressed, sparing a glance for the board and noting how few of his pieces remained.

"That's not what I said, damn it," Vincent growled, feeling like he was being expertly herded into a corner.

"Well what do you think of her then?" Cloud jumped a lone black piece.

"I think that..." Vincent was feeling very much out of his league, and he didn't like it.

"Your move, and sometime today please," Cloud prompted.

Vincent glared at Cloud, crimson eyes glowing. "I think that you're very lucky it's dangerous to fire weapons on an airship." Without even looking at the board, he jumped two of Cloud's remaining three checkers. "And king me."

Cloud clamped his teeth down, suppressing a laugh as he gave Vincent his second king. He looked at his remaining piece, and gave it up as hopeless, moving it into the path of one of the black checkers. Vincent took it immediately, before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. Sighing, Cloud leaned over, collecting his captured pieces and laying them back out for another game. Vincent slowly started repositioning his as well.

Just as they became ready for another round, they were joined by Cid, who plopped down next to them, customary cigarette in place.

"Min' if I join ya? Co-pilot is takin' over for a bit." He gestured to the board with a gloved hand.

"Sure," Cloud said, and Vincent nodded. Cloud moved over, allowing Cid to take his spot. Cid started the game, sliding a red piece towards the edge.

"Hey Cid, can I ask you something?" Cloud asked, observing the game intently.

Cid grunted a confirmation.

"Do you think Yuffie would be good for Vincent?"

Cid blinked at Cloud before throwing a look at Vincent, opening his mouth to exclaim something filled with expletives, but Vincent interrupted.

"I think Cloud should hurry and ask Tifa to marry him before she elopes with Reno, don't you, Cid?"

"_Reno?_" Cloud exclaimed indignantly. Cid left out a bark of laughter, scrambling to catch his cig as it dropped from his mouth.

"You two are a bunch of fuckin' cowards," he stated bluntly, placing the recovered cigarette back in his mouth. "Call yourselves men, fuckin' pussies can't even tell a lady that ya like her."

"I agree," said Vincent, drawing looks of surprise from the other two men. "That Cloud is a coward, that is," he clarified. "It's obvious Tifa cares for you, and that you care for her, and you still don't do anything."

Cloud scowled. "Speak for yourself, hypocrite."

"For the last time, I don't like Yuffie – "

"Did I hear my name?"

Yuffie suddenly appeared beside them, Tifa popping into view shortly after. Cloud and Vincent froze, while Cid just sat back, drawing on his cig, watching the action with a bemused expression.

Tifa and Yuffie glanced at each other, picking up on the awkward tension. "Did we interrupt something?" Tifa asked, eyebrows raised.

Cloud just stared at her, while Vincent was apparently absolutely enthralled by the checker board. Cid disguised a laugh underneath a cough.

Yuffie frowned at Vincent. If he stared at the board any harder, it was liable to combust into flames. Which was perfectly possible, judging by Tifa's tale of garbage woes.

"Erm, earth to Vinnie?" She waved a hand in front of him. Very slowly, Vincent looked at her.

"Hello, Yuffie," he said, in a rather strangled tone, hurriedly glancing back at the board. Cloud was still staring at Tifa, looking like he'd been hit over the head by a blunt object. Cid aimed a swift kick at him, snapping him out of it. He immediately stared at everything but the barmaid, flushing red.

"What is wrong with you guys?" Yuffie asked, eyeing them as if they all possessed some particularly rare disease.

"Cloud, are you okay?" Tifa questioned, watching the blonde with concern.

Cid's attention was caught by something sticking out of Tifa's back pocket. It looked like the corner of a Polaroid picture. He started inching his hand closer, preparing to snatch it at the opportune moment.

"I'm fine, Tifa, thanks," Cloud said, still not looking at her.

"You guys are weird." Yuffie was eyeing the checker board with a professional's eye. She moved one of Cid's pieces. "Your move, Vince."

Vincent, wishing he was somewhere else, moved a piece at random.

It was then that Cid made his move. With a lunge, he grabbed at the picture corner. Tifa, realizing a split second later what he was aiming for, attempted to move out of the way but ended up banging into Yuffie, knocking her over to sprawl on top of a very surprised Vincent. Cloud just watched, mouth hanging open once more. Cid managed to get a hold of the picture and yanked it out of Tifa's pocket, flinging himself backwards to get out of reach of the martial artist, his chair falling over as he did so. Tifa, already in pursuit, tangled up in the chair, swearing, and Cid took advantage of the stumble to put more distance between them.

Meanwhile, Yuffie lay dazedly on top of Vincent's chest, feeling surprisingly snug. His chair had flipped backward at their collision, and they now lay on the steel deck. Vincent was feeling very awkward, partly due to the hard floor but mostly because of Yuffie's proximity. This, he told himself, only bothered him because it must be very uncomfortable for her.

Cid, seeing that now was his chance to look at his prize, glanced at the picture. With a yelp, he flung it back to Tifa, wiping his hands on his shirt as if they were dirty.

"FUCKIN' A, I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT SHIT!"

Tifa scrambled, picking up the picture, looking mortified. "Cid, please, don't tell-"

"What was the picture of?" Cloud asked, curious.

"YOU, YOU FUCKIN' CHOCOBO, YOU AND NO SHIRT, FUCKIN' CLOUD PORN-O-GRAPHY, THAT'S WHAT!"

Cloud looked blankly at Tifa for a moment. The whole bridge had gone still, with even the crew not daring to breathe. From their position on the floor, Yuffie and Vincent watched the proceedings with interest.

"But, I destroyed..." Cloud looked very confused for a moment, face scrunched up as he recalled that fateful day in Frelt. A dawning realization crossed his face. "You used the picture of me in that dress as a distraction, didn't you!?"

Tifa was saved the trouble of answering the accusation by a sputtering Cid.

"WHAT PICTURE OF YOU IN A DRESS?"

"I, er – I had to dress like a woman once to save Tifa from that sick Corneo guy, okay? I'm not a cross-dresser or anything," Cloud said in a rush. Trying to find something else to focus on rather than his own humiliation, he bent down to pick something up.

"Here, Yuffie, you dropped your phone."

Yuffie froze. Tifa sent her a glance mixed with sympathy and relief that the spotlight would soon be focused on someone else .

"Er, thanks Cloud, just pass it here – "

Cloud was staring at the open phone. "What's your background of, Yuffie? It – "

Cloud trailed off, looking from the phone, to Yuffie, and finally to Vincent. Everything was completely silent.

Until Cid came back and looked over Cloud's shoulder.

"AH, FUCK!"

"Ah, _fuck_," Yuffie swore.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?" Cid yelled, gesturing wildly at Tifa and Yuffie.

"Cid, shut up, dammit – "

"What is he so upset about, Yuffie?" Vincent asked, the words slightly quiet from lack of breath thanks to the ninja on top of him.

"Nothing, Vinnie, Cloud, gimme my phone, _now_, or there is gonna be a lot of pain for you in the near future."

"It's you, Vincent," Cloud said, eyes gleaming with the satisfaction of someone who was about to squeal _I was right and you were wrong_. "Her background is a picture of you...with no shirt on." He drew out the words, taking an extreme amount of pleasure in them.

Yuffie froze, hand still outstretched. She glanced down at Vincent.

He stared at her, unable to believe it.

"Heh," she giggled weakly. "That was a funny one, wasn't it, Vinnie? Cloud's just joking. Aren't you, Cloud?"

Her tone promised untold tortures. Cloud didn't pick up on it.

"No I'm not, here, I'll show you." Cloud held up the phone so Vincent could get a clear look at it. Yuffie sent him her patented ninja death glare.

Vincent's mouth opened and closed silently as he attempted to think of something to say.

"You look like a fish when you do that, Vinnie," Yuffie stated. "You should be flattered, you know. Only the truly worthy adorn my phone's background. In fact, your picture is the only one ever to be displayed that doesn't have me somewhere in it."

"...You told me you were sending a text message," Vincent choked out.

"I lied, sorry," Yuffie said, giving him a rueful grin. She suddenly realized just how close they were. If she just leaned forward a few inches, she could -

"I think now would be a _very_ good time for me to leave," she blurted, no longer able to meet Vincent's eye as she leapt up, heart pounding as she tried to ignore _whatever the fuck she had just been thinking_. She snatched the phone away from Cloud and grabbed Tifa, who was busy trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, bodily dragging her from the bridge.

A billowing silence was left in their wake.

Vincent continued staring at the door through which Yuffie and Tifa had made their escape. Cloud was watching Vincent with a satisfied smirk. Cid was rubbing his eyes, attempting to rid them of the images they had been forced to endure. He looked around shortly after, and noticing the complete lack of movement, bellowed, "BACK TO WORK, YOU LAZY ASSWIPES!" The crew jumped, and immediately went about trying to look occupied.

That dealt with, Cid looked at Cloud, who was still smirking. Noticing his look, Cloud turned his gaze onto the pilot.

Cid just shook his head. "Goddamn cross-dresser..." he muttered, stalking off.

Cloud's smirk disappeared.

Vincent gradually sat up, finally looking away from the door. He slowly looked over to Cloud.

Cloud looked at Vincent.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Cloud murmured rhetorically.

Vincent answered anyways.

"Something far worse than Sephiroth, I think."

Cloud nodded. He couldn't agree more.

* * *

"Cid is my hero. Seriously, we should do divine intervention with him more often," Zack exclaimed, grinning, his eyes still watering from laughing so hard. 

Aerith nodded in agreement. "He certainly makes things exciting." She turned to her partner in crime. "Now, I believe the two weeks are up, and the bet is officially finished."

Zack turned to her, shrugging. "We tied. Yuffie and Tifa both got pictures but were unaware of their wonderful spooning experiences. Bet's nullified."

Aerith pursed her lips, wishing she could disagree but knowing he was right. "Yeah, I suppose."

They both turned to view the scene below them once more.

"Ya know, things are starting to get very interesting," Zack mused.

Aerith slowly nodded, watching idly as Yuffie and Tifa ran for their rooms, both looking extremely humiliated at what had just transpired. "Mm, they certainly are."

Zack glanced sidelong at her. "I think there's still work to be done."

Aerith turned her head to regard him. "I would have to agree, Mr. Fair."

Zack cracked his knuckles and slowly stretched out his neck. "How would you propose we go about this next step, Miss Gainsborough?"

Aerith grinned. Zack was strongly reminded of Yuffie whenever she came up with some particularly evil scheme, and felt rather afraid.

"Oh, I have some ideas."

* * *

**A/N:** And that is all, dear readers. As you may be able to tell, there are sequels planned – I'm not sure whether I'll write another chapter fic or follow up with a series of oneshots. But oh, I have some ideas. 

Thank you for all the reviews and support. I love you all.

If you enjoy my writing (which I hope is this case, since this is the ninth chapter), you can check out my profile for more fics.

And here is a 'trailer' of my current WIP. This one is serious business. Drama, Mystery, Angst, Romance, all that jazz. Consider it a bonus for sticking with _Spoons_.

Bonne chance et bon soir!

* * *

**The following preview has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES, by me. ****Rated M for Mature.**** Anything here is subject to change.**

"Where are you?"

"Junon."

_Five men stand rigidly at attention, dressed in black combat fatigues._

"It starts tonight."

_A black, unmarked helicopter chops through the air, shrouded in clouds of snow._

"Does that mean she's awake?"

_A woman lies unmoving in a tube, suspended in __mako_

"It does."

_The woman's face twitches. Her eyes open._

**Two years after the fall of DeepGround, the elders of Cosmo Canyon are ****brutally ****executed.**

_Nanaki stands by the statue of his father, howling raggedly into the night sky._

"What do we know about this? What did they want?"

_Yuffie sips a cup of tea, looking over a brightly decorated __Wutainese__ street._

"It appears they were after two sets of documents."

_Tifa hums to herself as she washes dishes in Seventh Heaven._

"What documents?"

_Reno sits at a computer, reading a classified file.__ At the top, the word 'AVALANCHE' can be seen._

"The first deals with WEAPONS."

_Cloud speeds down a highway on __Fenrir_

"The second?"

"The research done by a student of planet studies, named Fuhito."

_Cid stands at the wheel of an airship, Vincent standing silently behind him._

"Why?"

_Reeve sits at a desk, his head in his hands._

"We're not sure."

_Cloud takes a corner. As he turn__s__, his eyes widen in surprise._

"But nothing good will come of this."

_A RPG rams into __Fenrir__, tossing the bike and its rider into the air._

"Who are they?"

_A man, dressed stylishly in a white suit, enters Seventh Heaven._

"A street gang, by all outward appearances."

_A redheaded man serves coffee in a cafe._

"They got a name?"

_On an autopsy table, a body is lifted to reveal a branded 'L' on the right shoulder blade._

"The Loveless, they call themselves."

_A crowded __Junon__ street, full of afternoon shoppers, becomes filled with screams as an explosion rips through a store._

"This is no street gang."

_Yuffie dives away, as machine gun fire tears up the earth where she was standing._

"This is war at its worst."

_A man roars in defiance, firing an aged rifle as a tide of men rushes towards him._

"And I fear it will consume the entire world."

_A hulking man slices through a squad of WRO soldiers, grinning._

_Tifa hugs Marlene and Denzel closer as they stare at a television where the news is playing._

_"__Junon__ is completely obscured by smoke, all contact with local WRO has been lost-"_

**Believing the threat to be over, the world has let down its guard.**

_Barret blasts away at something, as Rude sprints past him._

**In the peace, a new threat has festered, and now it strikes.**

"I am a monster. And monsters conquer the world."

_"What the heck was that?"_

_"__Oblivion, perhaps."_

"Hail, Weiss."

_The hulking man from earlier laughs.__ A black tattoo of a dragon rests above his right eyebrow._

"Hello, Vincent."

_A gloved hand clutches a folder tightly._

"The Gelnika, the one that crashed."

"What about it?"

_Aerith watches helplessly as a flower withers and dies._

"Who are you?"

_A man stands __on__ the __Junon__ cannon. He clutches a red rapier in one hand._

_Zack lays on his back, blinking up into the rain, riddled with bullet holes._

"My wish for tomorrow shall shatter my soul. For the price of my pride."

_A single black feather drifts downward, landing lightly on a drift of snow._

"Flight is no more for my wing has shattered."

**Dreams of Grey**

**Coming Soon**

**...hopefully**


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